Trying to Age Gracefully….(emphasis on trying!)

I came across a post today that said: “If you’re a female and considering joining the military, don’t. They hate us.”

At first, I was saddened. Then I was mad.

When did “I am Woman, hear me roar” get replaced with “I am a woman, therefore you owe me more?” Why would we ever expect anything other than a fair chance—based on ability, not gender?

The real question is this: why isn’t there more outrage that policies lowering standards ever existed in the first place? Do you not believe women are capable? The true insult is the assumption that women need special treatment to succeed.  We don’t need training wheels.

Before moving forward, it’s important to clarify the difference between two things:

• General PT tests measure a baseline of physical fitness, acknowledging physiological differences between men, women, and age groups respectively.

• Specialized role-specific tests exist for a reason: to ensure candidates possess the advanced, job-specific strength and skills required for demanding combat or operational tasks.

That distinction matters. And it should be celebrated when the playing field is leveled.

Think about it—would you want a surgeon who only passed her boards because the grading scale was adjusted to accommodate her gender? Or do you want standards to be consistent, so that whoever earns the title is genuinely qualified?  Does it matter more in a life or death situation? 

I raised three strong, smart, beautiful, fiercely independent kids—and now have seven equally strong and beautiful grandkids. I would never tell them the world owes them anything because of biology. My advice to them is—and always will be—simple: Have a plan. Do your best. Be your best. And give it all to God.

After a career in Human Resources, here’s where I stand on the conversations happening today (and one that should be happening):

• Hiring and promotions should be 100% merit-based. Skills, performance, and results—not gender, not politics.

• Discrimination is immoral, unethical, and illegal. So are drugs. Policy changes don’t stop them—courts do.

• Women are fully capable. Equal pay belongs with equal performance. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. If you’re not at the same level as your competition, level up and earn it. We’re not “lucky to be here” like yellow Starbursts—we’re pink ones, baby! Bold, desired, and proud of it.

• Combat Arms belong to the best of the best. If that’s a woman, I’ll back her all the way. If it’s a man, he earns it the same way. Standards must remain high for everyone.

• Military Religious Affairs Specialists deserve a revamp. They are the bodyguards of those who are not allowed to fight for themselves in war. They should be stronger, sharper, expert marksmen, and proud of their MOS. Chaplain spouses—and all military spouses—should have peace of mind knowing their loved ones are protected, not left vulnerable by watered-down expectations. Personally speaking, if you can’t carry my husband off the battlefield (regardless of gender), then we may have a problem. If society insists on changing rules, then at the very least consider allowing Chaplains to individually choose whether they want to remain non-combatant. Let them decide if they wish to train and defend themselves, as well as others. After all, as quoted in the movie, The Patriot, “A shepherd must tend to his flock, and at times, fight off the wolves.”

Bottom line: Equal opportunity. Equal accountability. Excellence for all—nothing less.